Parent Behavior: Desires from coaches and athletes.
Much like the researchers who have been working on identifying parent behaviors and strategies to train them, I find myself asking more questions than finding answers. So many unexplored areas of parent involvement make it difficult to identify a starting point!
Earl Wilson's quote describing a parent's sporting experience can also often be fitting for coaches dealing with parents...how many more innings/games/contests do I have to deal with "that" parent? And the day "that" parent leaves your team, a weight is lifted from your shoulders, only to find that next season you have a new one!
The majority of my coaching experience is at a high school varsity level where we are vying for time, in constant competition with family, academics and other extra-curricular activities. For us, we are pitted against parents who may not agree with the time commitment, philosophy of the program or placement of their child within the program. My goal is to find a way to bridge those gaps and help the parents understand the role that they play in motivating and supporting their athlete and the team.
As we discussed last week, it is important as a coach to work towards providing a sporting experience that allows intrinsic motivation to develop in each of your athletes. Coaches who apply this philosophy will be fostering "success oriented" athletes who will become more stable and realistic about their accomplishments (Vealey). My questions become: how do you handle situations where the parents are undermining your coaching philosophy by offering external reinforcements for sport performance and/or participation? Is it appropriate to address this issue at the parent meeting at the beginning of the season? The situation is ultimately out of your control, so how can you express the importance of intrinsic motivation to the parents of your athletes?
By beginning parent education very early, as PLAYS has done, many of these difficult situations may be averted, but our current parents have not received such training. It is equally important to begin teaching these veteran parents the skills needed to be positive contributors to their athletes' careers. Parent involvement at the high school level is especially important as athletes are competing for coveted positions and the potential for career ending devastation or loss of motivation is much more likely. Parents need to be there to help coaches meet the needs of their children by providing additional competency and acceptance reinforcement in addition to helping their child understand their value and contribution to the team (Vealey). If parents and coaches are sending the same message, the athlete will have a much greater sense of self-worth and increased intrinsic motivation while facing potential disappointments.
In addition to parents becoming more educated on the importance of supplying consistent reinforcements to their children, it is also important to learn what parent behaviors the athlete prefers (Omli, LaVoi, Wiese-Bjornstal, 2008). In my experience, I have yet to witness an athlete communicate these preferences to their parent. Athletes have expressed discontent with parent behavior to coaches and peers, but they seem hesitant to direct their wishes towards their parents. Identifying the sources of discomfort in discussing this topic would be helpful in determining the appropriate steps that should be taken to help the athletes and parents communicate more freely. Reflecting on the information provided in the readings has led me to consider having my athletes complete a "wish list" of parent behaviors and providing their parents with a copy.
Parent involvement in sport can have such a profound effect on the athletes, it would be great to see more researchers questioning parent behavior and providing coaches with additional evidence to guide their interactions.
Random side-note/question:
Were the data for inappropriate parent behaviors analyzed based on sex of parent? Would be interesting to see differences in sexes at different levels of competition.
Were the data for inappropriate parent behaviors analyzed based on sex of parent? Would be interesting to see differences in sexes at different levels of competition.
