The Stoic Challenge from coach Mike
On the morning of October 31st 2003, 13 year old Bethany Hamilton grabbed her surfboard and headed to Tunnels Beach in Kauai, one of the Hawaiian islands. Along with her best friend Alana, and Alana’s father and brother, they arrived at the beach to discover next to no surf. Regardless, they all paddled out into the calm water in hopes that the waves would eventually pick up. As Bethany lay on her stomach on her board, she let her left arm hang off the side in the cool water. Suddenly, there was a flash of gray underneath her and then the water turned bright red. Before she could understand what was happening, a 14 foot tiger shark bit off her left arm, just below her shoulder.
Despite the severity of the injury, Bethany managed to paddle herself to the shore, and with the help of some of her fellow surfers, was able to tourniquet her shoulder, and get to the hospital. Bethany’s father was already there. He was scheduled to have knee surgery that same day. The nurse rushed in and told him he had to wait, as they had a 13 year old shark attack victim on the way. He knew the small community of surfers in the area well enough to know that the 13 year old girl was either his daughter, or her friend Alana. Bethany took his place on the operating table. By the time she arrived, she had lost 60% of her blood and was close to dead. Miraculously, the doctors were able to stabilize her, but there was nothing they could do for her arm. The shark had taken it off completely.
Bethany had been surfing independently since she was seven years old. A few short years later, by 13, she had won several surfing competitions, and even had a sponsor. Her goal, before the attack, was to become a pro surfer. Now, as she lay in her hospital bed in recovery, she all but gave up on her dream. How could she surf with only one arm? Balance plays such a large role that it seemed near impossible. Paddling out into the rough waves seemed impossible. Getting up onto her feet on the board seemed impossible with only one arm to lift her weight. Maybe her dreams of becoming a pro surfer were gone. Maybe she should pick a new sport, or give up on athletics altogether.
Shortly thereafter, Bethany concluded that it was too early to consider abandoning surfing. Her doctor encouraged her, and claimed that while the list of things she would have to do differently was long, the list of things she could not do was short. How do you button a shirt or tie your shoes with one hand? Bethany got to work. She wore shirts that didn’t have buttons, and shoes that didn’t require her to tie them. Step by step she learned how to deal with her setback.
The day before Thanksgiving, 26 days after the attack, right after her stitches were removed, Bethany grabbed her board and took to the waves. She figured out how to paddle through the waves, get herself on her feet, and after a few falls, she was able to balance on the board and rode her first wave since the attack. You can imagine how she must have felt. But Bethany didn’t stop there. She returned to competitive surfing. She proceeded to win an ESPY award in 2004 for Best Comeback Athlete. In 2005, less than two years after the attack, she won the National Scholastic Surfing Association National Championship. Shortly after, she turned pro, winning her first competition, and many more after that. Since the attack, she has written a book called Soul Surfer, among a few other books. That book was later given a feature length film adaptation of the same name in 2011.
Bethany’s story is remarkable. She faced a setback that didn’t just pose a threat to her athletic career, but her entire life as she knew it. But despite this setback, her resilience and mental toughness proved that the setback was not insurmountable after all. She overcame something that was completely out of her control, and rather than give up, or let her setback determine the path her life took, she faced it head on. She understood that we don’t always have control over what happens to us, but we do have control over what we do with it, and how we cope with setbacks.
The outlook that Bethany took on her setback is similar to that of an ancient school of philosophers called the Stoics. Founded in the 3rd century B.C.E. by Zeno of Citium, the school included famous philosophers such as Epictetus, Seneca, and perhaps most famously, Marcus Aureilus. They believed that seeking eudaimonia, or human flourishing, was best achieved by not getting lost in our desires for seeking pleasure or avoiding pain. As such, they believed that we only really have direct control over two things. Firstly, we have control over our own thoughts. We decide what to think about, and how to think about it. Secondly, they believed that we have control over our own actions. We decide how to act or what to act on the basis of. That’s it. Thoughts and actions.
This outlook is particularly beneficial in any kind of athletics, and to a degree, life in general. Experiencing setbacks is an unavoidable situation in everyone’s life. Whether on the playing field, in the pool, at school, or at home. Setbacks have a way of creeping their way into everything we try to accomplish, no matter how hard we try or how much we plan to avoid them. Injuries, like in Bethany’s case, are just one example of a setback. The COVID-19 pandemic is undeniably another example. Setbacks can be something as simple as a stubbed toe, traffic on the way to work, or as difficult as losing a loved one, or being laid off from your job.
In the pool, we also experience setbacks in various ways. Maybe we don’t hit that goal time we’ve been aiming for. Maybe we miss a cut by a fraction of a second. Maybe we are injured and unable to train as much as we would like, or are unable to compete for a lengthy period of time. Sometimes setbacks aren’t events that happen to us, but things that have persisted throughout our lives, holding us back in ways we don’t fully comprehend. Either way, they are obstacles that stand in the way of what we wish to accomplish. Regardless of what our setbacks are, or when they happen, we often face them the same way. We get angry, frustrated, upset, or emotional. We experience doubt, in ourselves, or our abilities. We question whether or not we are capable of completing the task we set out to accomplish in the first place. We compare ourselves to others. We have an upwelling of emotions and fears that take the forefront of our minds and often prevent us from taking the steps necessary for change. This is where I believe the stoic philosophy can help us the most.
The stoics believed that these negative feelings of anger, frustration, or sadness do nothing to help us solve the problems and setbacks we are faced with. They might provide a small amount of respite, but anything they provide is temporary at best. They often make us act rashly, or say or do things we normally wouldn’t if we did not feel them. Sometimes they even cause us to quit pursuing our goals altogether. These emotions don’t solve our problems, the stoics say, actions do. Negative emotions blur our vision, and distract us from solving the setbacks we are faced with.
It is important to note that the stoics do often get a bad rap for advocating a philosophy of being “emotionless” or “disconnected from your feelings,” but I argue for the opposite. They do not say that those feelings aren’t legitimate human emotions that we should not recognize as such. They simply encourage us to look at them in a new light. A light that is meant to guide us towards being productive and using those feelings to guide our actions towards solving the setbacks we are faced with. The more we do this, the less we feel those negative emotions and the more easily and quickly we can get to work on solving our problems. The stoics tell us to take command and control over our thoughts and emotions and not let them get the best of us when we need to remain focused.
The stoics also have a way of being described as deterministic, or having an attitude of complacency. Some critique them by saying the stoics advocate the ideas that ‘The world is the way it is and I have no power to change it.’ I also disagree with this notion. They advocate a philosophy of action. A philosophy of individual strength in the face of adversity. They deny that our internal negative emotions can create change, not that we can’t recognize when we feel them, and use them to realign our focus and take action. They challenge us to ask ourselves what good comes from negative emotions, realize that that good is minimal at best, and push forward with a focused, clear mind.
The stoics encourage us to focus on what we do have control over - our thoughts and actions - and to understand that setbacks do not present themselves in order to beat us into submission and make us feel inadequate, angry, or frustrated. They are challenges. Challenges that life has presented to us as a test of our resilience. A test of our ability to bounce back, and make a change to our approach. They are an opportunity to look inward, not in self doubt or pity, but in question. They should make us ask “How can I work around this problem?” or “What can I do differently?” rather than focus on things like how unfair our situation may be, or how badly we wish things were different. We all face challenges every day, whether we want to or not. The stoics believe that getting upset at being challenged is fruitless. Embrace the challenges, and become better at understanding how to deal with them. Once we can control our thoughts this way, we are free from the control our negative emotions have over us, and are ready to take action and make necessary change.
About a year ago I came across a book called The Stoic Challenge by William B. Irvine. Being familiar with the philosophy of stoicism I was very intrigued. The book included the story about Bethany, as well as many others, and their journeys through setbacks and how they handled them. It highlighted various ways the stoics believed that we can work around our setbacks and frame our minds to approach them. Irvine also includes some modern psychological findings, like framing, and anchoring, using modern science to bridge the gap between this ancient school of thought and our busy modern world. The book concluded with a challenge. A challenge to keep a “setback journal.” In the journal you write down any setbacks you are faced with throughout the day, your initial reaction to the setback, and the source of the setback. Next, you give yourself a grade based on how well you kept your cool and responded to the setback, and finally, what the outcome was. The journal helps us keep track of both the physical cost of setbacks, like spending money or time; and also the emotional cost of our setbacks, like how sometimes our negative thoughts or emotions can stay at the forefront of our minds for days or weeks on end, causing us to lose focus on our goals. More often than not this emotional cost of setbacks is greater than the physical cost. The Stoic Challenge asks us not to look at setbacks in a negative light, but instead as a test to our resilience. A test that life will present us with in innumerable ways, and in various degrees of difficulty. The more we practice framing our setbacks like this, the easier remaining cool, calm, and collected becomes, the less we react in self-diminishing ways, and the more resilient we become as people.
How do you respond to your setbacks? Do you let your emotions get the best of you and put you off from your goals? Or do you embrace what is out of your control as such, flex your stoic muscles in the face of adversity, and make a decision to face your setbacks with positivity and preparedness? Will you rise to the stoic challenge?
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
-Marcus Aurelius
Roman Emperor 161-180 C.E.
